#8 My Own Private Renaissance

Blog post 10, Aug 10th

Mosalina DaVinci

One beautiful summer morning, five New Yorkers found themselves in a rental car navigating their way up the New York State Thruway. Ordinarily it would be hard to drag city folk out into the country but the anticipation of a land of handsome knights and codpieces had us all up and out the door early one Saturday morning. We were heading to the Renaissance Faire being held in Tuxedo, NY, and about an hour and three wrong turns later, Roberta, Laju, Ambika, Kiran and myself found ourselves at the promised land.

Upon entering the magical gates of the faire, we were transported back to a simpler time where ladies where revered and men wore chainmail. My friend Gia, or may I say Mosalina DaVinci, Leonardo’s wife as her character was known, and her sister Lady Annie had arranged tickets for us and a bonafide costume for me. I was going to be a maid in the Renaissance Faire, something I have always wanted to do since I first heard about the event years ago.

Mosalina DaVinci and Lady Annie

I am not sure when my fascination with the Renaissance began. Perhaps it was the ultimate search for human emotion and light in art or a rebirth for realism in all aspects of learning, but the period has always held a significant place in my heart. In fact, when I was younger, I used to title each year of my life, and the most perfect year of my youth, 17, was named my Renaissance year. It was the year that my girlish body had finally blossomed into an ideal womanly figure and since I was preparing to go to college far away from home, I was reinventing my highschool self into a college intellectual. It was a magical year, one in which I was fearless with confidence and eager with exploration.

Perhaps it was the ideas of my youth, or the ornate costumes of the actors, but as we passed through the large wooden gates of the faire, I felt a hint of the rebirth of my teenage self as real as the land that lay before me.
The Faire grounds themselves was an absolutely amazing place. On one side was a large enclosed ground reserved

Swooning for Don Juan

for the joust, and on the other side, a sprawling village of shops and eateries. Behind the main village were trails that lead to a maypole, palm readers, artisans, showstages, displays, and games of skill. Throughout the day, visitors are entertained by parades, jousts, a human chess match, the court of Queen Elizabeth, a lake with a serpent, camel rides and many hundreds of costumed characters.

We met Mosalina DaVinci and Lady Annie at their respective stations and they led me to the local costume rental shop where I was stripped of my modern clothes and laced, cajoled and strapped into a chemise, bodice and flowing skirt by Conner, the village costumier. If you’ve never been laced into a bodice, ladies, let me just say that once in your life, you absolutely must. As Conner’s deft hands weaved in and out of my blouse, pulling the laces even tighter, I felt very much like Scarlett O’Hara right before the barbeque. But unlike Sacrlett’s female maid, lucky for me Conner was cute and the free flowing familiarity he entertained while adjusting my breasts, it was the most fun I’ve had this slow summer!

Conner the Costumier

None of the other girls wanted to dress up, so I was left alone to my own devices. All outfitted in period costume, I was just about to join Mosalina DaVinci to watch the joust when my favorite necklace slipped out of my hand and snaked down between the wooden floor planks. Unsure of what to do, I stood there fittingly like a damsel in distress trying to figure out how to save my necklace from its newly found dark, obscure grave. Conner bent down

The Chivalrous Franklin Voltaire

to find the necklace as did two teenage boys who were also being costumed for the day. Since no one could reach between the closely fitted slats, soon ad hoc devices were being created to fish out my necklace. Bodice strings were being wrapped around paper clips, and swords (yes swords) were being brought in from the adjoining knight’s shop. Pretty soon I was surrounded by men in breeches and boys in doublets as they all took turns at rescuing my jewelry. It was a far cry from Manhattan’s Upper East Side, I thought, and a lost cause until finally one of the teenage boys with the determined patience of the young, cajoled my necklace back to life and out of the flooring. If this was old-fashioned chivalry, please, please take me back in time!

My Shining Knight

After I tipped the young lad a very modern $20, I made my way to next to Mosalina DaVinci to watch the joust tournament already underway. We sat on the ground next to the fenced area to watch the knights in armor feign victory and defeat in a well-choreographed routine. It may have been just for show, but I have to say, the fantasy of the costumes and the wind-tossed hair coupled with the muscular horses made it all very real.

After the joust, Mosalina DaVinci and her companion, Franklin (Voltaire) gave me a personalized tour of the shire explaining all the myths and legends of the grounds, including one particularly memorable Excalibur moment. What was most fascinating about the experience was the dedication that the characters of the faire had to their alter-personas. For example, Mosalina maintained her period Italian accent throughout the day when she normally sounded like an evolved New Yorker. The very British Franklin, I later found out, held a corporate job deep in his native New Jersey. I was very impressed with their dedication, but what I found most unusual was the number of regular folks who were also dressed in elaborate costumes that weren’t hired actors of the faire.

New Friends

Apparently, many other people like me have a deep fascination with the time period and show up to the faire as regularly as they visit their local Shoprite. We saw a priest, many, many maidens, pirates and a most impressive dark knight with deep blue eyes under a black leather mask with large horns. I have to say, I’m not much into fetish, but seeing the dark knight with his leather defined muscles, I did entertain thoughts of him ravaging my bodice ala Danielle Steel style…that is until I saw him again later, this time outside of the faire in the parking lot struggling to take his gear off and out emerged a little tiny old man. I guess he liked his alter ego. I guess I did too.

Archery

After my first tasting of Mead (with hands tied behind my back nonetheless), Mosalina DaVinci and Franklin lead me to the Maypole where I was invited to dance under it’s flowing ribbons to sounds of a period guitar and drum. Though somewhat difficult in a tight bodice, the dance itself was beautiful in its simplicity, and simple in its happiness. After the Maypole, I found my way to the games area where I learned how to throw knives, and later, archery, where I am proud to say, I almost made a bulls eye. If this was renaissance life, I think I would have fared just fine.

My Bullseye

As the day drew to close and I was once again reunited with my modern day friends and my modern day clothes, I felt like I had just returned from a magical trip. It was an amazing experience, one which I was able to repeat again a few days later when Lady Annie asked me to join the Ren-gang for their appearance on the CBS morning show. Once again, bodiced and billowy skirted, I stood on the steps of the CBS plaza on 59th street smiling for the cameras with my newfound friends of Don Juans, Ladies, Madiens, Jesters and Acrobats. If this was what Renaissance life was like, all I can say is, Ha Zah!!

Back to Reality

The NY Renaissance Faire is open every weekend until September 26th, 2010. Visit www.renfair.com/ny/ for more details.

#18: The 40,000-Mile Overhaul

Blog post 9, July 30th

I’ve been poked, prodded, pinched, pricked, probed and put through every major health check up you can think of these past few weeks. Call it the 40,000-mile overhaul if you will, but when you reach halfway through your life, it’s high time to get your vitals checked out. And thank God that I did.

You see, I coasted through my 30s with very intermittent health insurance, and by intermittent I mean mostly intermittently not. I was young, carefree, full of life and more importantly, broke. Ok maybe not broke, but I was more prone to spending my extra money on a pair of shoes than on health insurance. Lucky for me, I rarely got sick, and the one time I did have a major medical emergency–I was hit by a car while riding my bike–I had insurance, shoddy insurance, but insurance nonetheless.

So number 18 on my list is to get good health insurance, and thanks to my friend Jody who works for a reputable insurance provider, I can now breathe in relief and proudly say I am “covered.”

The first time I went to visit my chosen Dr. Caran, I was full of confidence, comfortable in my seemingly healthy body and confident that she too would be amazed at how well preserved I am. After all, didn’t Dr. Oz’s online quiz tell me my body was two years younger than my real age? I floss regularly…of course I was healthy.

A few minutes into the examination, Dr. Caran, with a frown on her face, questioned my blood pressure, which was on the high side? Slightly embarrassed and totally shot down, I was befuddled since most of my life, I was told that my blood pressure was low. Could’ve have been the big bucket of salted popcorn I had had the night before while at the movies? Or could it be that maybe, I was doomed to follow in the genetic footsteps of my mother?

As I sat there pondering my family’s DNA, Dr Caran’s nurse announced, with a big smile and a bigger needle in her rubber-gloved hand, that “we” are now going to take a sample of my blood. “We” weren’t so ecstatic about the prospect so “I” turned away and let “her” do her bidding. A cotton ball and bandage later, I was told to return in two weeks for my results.

At the appointed day, I sat again in Dr. Caran’s office but this time her brow furrowed further under her wireless glasses as she read the results of my tests: high cholesterol, fatty liver, high risk of heart disease and high blood pressure, but on the bright side, “your sugar levels are fine and you tested negative for cervical cancer and all STDs.” I wasn’t sure if I should celebrate or get depressed. When did this happen? I’m normally very careful about what I eat choosing a pescatarian diet and exercising pretty regularly. It had to be a result of the popcorn I’m sure, but at least my choice to pass on the Jujubes and use a condom worked out, I think, pretty well. However, the good doctor had spoken and I have to come to terms with the fact that what I was doing before is not enough, especially for the second half of my life. It is time to make a few lifestyle edits.

Funnily enough, a thorough health exam in the second part of your life also brings, at least for women, the dreaded annual mammogram. At this point, I have to say, if I were given a choice to be a man or a woman, I would definitely choose being a woman. That being said, there are three things that I envy about men: 1) they can pee standing up 2) their dressiest shoes are still “flats” 3) they don’t have to have their boobs squeezed between two plates of Plexiglas in a machine you hope doesn’t malfunction and forget to stop pushing together with your breast still held hostage. Other than that, I think we have the better body type, we live longer, we can give life and our wardrobe options far, far outreach any thing men can ever wear. All in all, it’s not a bad trade-off.

Coming back to the exams, add in an ultrasound for my liver, another for my “dense” breasts, more blood pressure checks, peeing in a cup (carefully) and top it off with a height, weight assessment and a few more blood samples and there you have the full breadth of my medical ordeal. And I get to do it all again in three months…. Woohoo!

The overall verdict is that I am healthy, but I need to watch my diet and exercise more if I wish to remain so. That wake up call is the exact reason why you need to have good health insurance in your 40s. Even though it’s an expensive expense each month, and you may not always need it, it’s time to regularly monitor your body’s inner workings to maintain your health. After all, if you are like me, moving forward, you’ll need any extra help you can get so that you can still attend each of the events you spent your 30s buying all those shoes for.

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